[Musebox] - "I Told Robb I’m Sure to Give Him Twins"

[widow_of_the_crag]

She had comforted Robb in his grief as he recovered from the news of Winterfell. His two younger brothers had been killed and his home seized by a man he considered a friend. It was a loss that had rendered him broken and vulnerable, struggling to find some foothold in the midst of his sorrow. Jeyne had offered her embrace and then her body, allowing his anguish to be buried into her again and again. In that moment, she hadn't seen the king that had taken her family home or the Young Wolf that had captured her father. She saw a boy no older than she was, suffering and broken.

But that had only lasted a night. She lingered in his bed until he had fallen asleep, feeling a pang of regret that hadn't existed before. Her mother had always been strict in her upbringing, reminding Jeyne that she was worthy of a Lannister and should conduct herself as befitting such a bride. While those marriages had never appeared, it was a lesson her mother wouldn't let her forget. So how would she respond, knowing her daughter had bedded the man that had laid siege on them.

Perhaps as well, she was a craven, afraid to see any shame in his eyes or a dismissal in his tone. She was a maid when he took her. It took more courage than she believed she possessed to let her body speak in place of her head. Yet it seemed none of that remained by the time the sun crested the horizon.

She hid away during the rest of his stay at his castle, only emerging from her rooms in time to hear him name another as keeper of the Crag in his absence. There was something he had to see to in the Riverlands before continuing onward to Casterly Rock. Her last glimpse of him was as he steered his horse from the courtyard and left with a large company, his hair tussling in the wind. She shielded her heart from the pain of that sight and feigned the same relief her mother exhibited. It didn't matter. None needed to know what happened between them. It was possible to pretend that she was as innocent as before, even if her heart knew otherwise.

***

A year passed, one of hardship and heartbreak. In the company of a young maid from the Crag, Jeyne appeared in Robb's camp, the battle against the Lannisters still strong. She wrapped herself in a frayed cloak, dressing no better than a servant herself. Her maid remained behind as Jeyne searched the campgrounds for the King's tent. There were others in his presence, men that were helping him plan for the coming battle, many of them were figures she recognized. Great Jon Umber, Lord Karstark, and Roose Bolton, men that left her trembling.

She cleared her throat, a bit more loudly than she intended. The men looked up at her, but none seemed to know her. She pulled back her hood, waiting to see that acknowledgement in Robb's eyes. "I have come to see King Robb."

Comments

[kingofbadlifechoices]

"Let us sit down..." This is a place unworthy of his sons or the woman he once bedded. A big, angry part of Robb wants to go inside the inn and undo this. In his name. But that would start rumors, it would be unwise. "Worry not...I...they do not know me. I am just another stranger."

Finally Robb sits on the ground, leaving the bale of hay for Jeyne and the boys.

When the maid leaves Robb looks at Jeyne with a tired expression on his face.

"I have never been able to forget you... Even after I got wed..." There is an apologetic tone to his voice. "These words must sound empty to you and without meaning. After all...you are raising my sons surrounded by horse shit and I wear a crown." As he mumbles the words he reaches out to Brandon, touching his small hand and watching the little fingers attached to it wiggle in response.

[widow_of_the_crag]

She offered a finger to Eddard, letting him suck on the tip in an effort to soothe him. He latched onto her, whimpering against her, but much quieter than before. "You are more than a stranger," she murmured to him. He was kind, even surrounded by horse dung and sharp smells. This wasn't the place for a king. "Eddard was fighting, even in my stomach." It had been painful carrying him, as he was always kicking her. He would likely carry that wolf blood, even into adulthood.

Her eyes were hesitant as he spoke, a glimmer of hope in her expression. It was a balm to her wounded heart, broken by the news of his marriage and knowing that he slipped away from her. The man she loved and had given herself to.

It was comforting, but also painful to hear. "It isn't that they sound empty." Her face was pained as she looked up at him. "I have no right to claim your heart now. Whatever I feel and however much I want you, I will only bring you trouble and dishonor." But she hated the thought of him with another woman. "I shouldn't have troubled you...I will ruin your reputation if anyone knows."

She couldn't allow that. He was king and needed his men's support. His good family especially.

[kingofbadlifechoices]

"He has the wolf's blood..." Robb answers softly, a smile forming around his lips. It would mean the boy would be truly his. Truly of Winterfell. Of the North. "According to my father's tales my aunt had it. And his older brother. Wild and difficult to tame."

It pained him. The choices he should make. Love or duty. Himself or all those others.

"I know of that. I am a man wed." To a barren woman. "My marriage is not a happy one, if you wish to know. It is one of duty." And he did not particularly liked to bed Roslin. Despite her beauty it felt like sticking your cock into a pile of snow. Unmoving and ice cold.

And here he was sitting with his children. Two strong boys with a mop of hair similar to that of his own.

"Well, I am a rebel to the crown. It cannot get any worse, to be fair. Have you heard the stories of me changing into a wolf during battle?"

[widow_of_the_crag]

"If there is to be wolf blood, I'm grateful it isn't both of them." Eddard was difficult to tame, adding Brandon as well would only make her days more difficult and sleep more elusive. The silence never lasted long and the cries would come again. She relished each minute that he was soothed or asleep. "Brandon is like me. He is quiet and uncomplaining."

The words were more poignant than she intended. What was she to do in this instance save for accepting how their lives had gone. He was wed now. She couldn't hope for more than this, a stolen moment and a brief reunion.

"It doesn't matter. You fulfilled your oath." She looked away, brushing Eddard's wispy hair from his face. It was beginning to curl at the ends. Soon he would look exactly like his father. "I take no comfort in your misery. I only wish you could find happiness with her."

There was a small smile on her face, recalling the rumors. "They say also you ride a wolf into battle."

[kingofbadlifechoices]

"They will grow strong and big." There is a melancholic tone to his voice when he speaks, still busy with watching Brandon's fingers curl around his own index finger, finding it wondrous how the boy responds. "Both of them..."

Robb finds himself torn about this. He could assure Jeyne a place in Riverrun's household, acknowledge her sons and risk Walder Frey's anger. He could also do as she asked him, give her the gold, a safe passage and be miserable for the rest of his life.

When he notices that Brandon starts to doze off a little he picks the little boy up and places him in his own lap, wrapping him gently into the fabric of his cloak. Carefully he places a hand on the boy's head to comb the hair out of his face. The child is too drowsy to properly struggle this time.

"Nothing will bring comfort at this point. I think there is only grief..." he answers, eyes fully focused on the child in his lap. All he had to do was to get over it. To let time do the healing and maybe one day he would forget that these two strong boys came into the world, his blood going through their veins.

"Even better, I ride Grey Wind's back."

[widow_of_the_crag]

She watches carefully as he lifts Brandon, certain that he would not make a sound. He had always been the deep sleeper of the pair, not even crying at birth. He was Jeyne's comfort and the one that did not fight her in every waking moment. Though Eddard knew how to endear himself to her. As he sucked her finger, he looked up at her with his deep brown eyes and lifted his hand to brush against her cheek. He would be charming when he was older, already courting his mother's affection.

"That is my hope," she murmured, her eyes lowered. "So long as I can feed them and give them a home." The reality of her situation overrode her dreams and thoughts of the future. They would never grow strong if they were not provided for. She had no wish to press the matter or stumble back to misery, but it seemed to be what they were destined for. Only with different paths.

"She cannot be so bad as that." Jeyne told him gently. "I have heard accounts that she is very sweet and kind. They say she is lovely as well. Your life is not so miserable." Marriage without love was difficult, but not unnatural. "You will grow to love her."

There was a soft chuckle beneath her breath. "He must be larger now, Grey Wind."

[kingofbadlifechoices]

Roslin wasn't a bad person. She was beautiful and intelligent as well. She had a certain knowledge of warfare and the one moment they truly bonded happened when they both tried to figure out the quickest route to Lannisport. But there was no love between them, no warmth.

"I fear she is barren..." he finally says and smiles an apologetic smile afterwards. "I still do not have an heir and we..." That sentence he doesn't finish, deciding that it is not fitting to discuss him bedding Roslin with the woman he bedded before her. The woman that became the mother of his children.

"I will try to keep you as safe as I can... I need to arrange some things." A lot of things. And he cannot help himself to find himself taken with the child in his lap. Fast asleep. "They look like me..." He murmurs the words softly, almost as if he is talking to himself.

"Should I stay with you for the night?" He wants to add to it that he does not mean it in the way they've spend their night before. "...To assure your safety? It is the least I can do..."

[widow_of_the_crag]

She didn't wish to hear of him bedding another woman, not one that he married and was known to be beautiful. For all she was, Jeyne knew that she was not beautiful, not compared to some. Her hair was often unruly and brown, not the vibrant chestnut that Roslin supposedly had. Her face pleasing enough, but nothing remarkable. Roslin would come to please him in time and he would have sons by her, whatever his doubts.

"There are ways to induce fertility." She said softly, remembering the various herbs her mother had taught her once. But her heart was pained at the idea of helping him. She had no right to his affections and it was unwise for him to not have an heir. "Has she spoken with a midwife?" Did she even have a capable midwife?

The weight she carried was immediately lifted, letting her form and face crumple into one of evident relief. "Thank you." She would reach for him, to clasp his hand in hers, but Eddard would wake and cry again. She didn't want to disturb her child, not while she had a moment at his side. Her eyes were warm as she looked down at her boys, pressing a kiss to Eddard's brow. "They do. Their hair will become more red over time, I think." She would see them grow well and strong, but her choices would be easier now with Robb's help. They wouldn't starve.

Her gaze shot up, immediate worry in her eyes as she glanced back towards the door to the stables. "It would start rumors..." her voice is soft. She wanted him with her, she couldn't deny that. She had missed him during the night and often dreamed of his arms around her, but she had to be practical. His men would wonder where he was and why he was with a Westerling alone. Then there was the stable. "This isn't a place where a king should sleep." She stopped noticing the smell, but he belonged in a real bed, somewhere comfortable.

[kingofbadlifechoices]

Robb wonders why he told her that. Why he spoke of fertility, of the state of Roslin's womb. He had wanted to be a father, to see his children grow up. To laugh with them and raise them right. And having heirs was a pressing matter. Something to be expected.

"I do not know, to be honest..." he says softly, worry darkening his face a little. "I have not been home a lot..." And then he sighs. "I should not speak of this, it matters not." Well, it does matter, but not right now. He thinks of how they would grow up, hair similar to his. Strong and honorable.

"Rumors will start whatever I will do. I cannot deny these children as mine. Any lackwit can see the color of their hair..." Tully hair. "You should not be sleeping here either." And he could see him in her arms and he could picture her fingers moving through his hair, soothing and sweet. He still remembers her naked body and he remembers that he took her virginity and dishonored her forever.

"I should have wed you."

[widow_of_the_crag]

"It does matter," she echoed his thoughts, glancing up at him apprehensively. "It is something you worry about and will affect the North. I understand. You need an heir." Something that Roslin had yet to give him, but no doubt wished to. It seemed impossible to Jeyne that any woman might not feel the same for Robb that she did. He was a remarkable man and any woman would wish to be his.

"Their hair color can be ignored." Though he was right. There were no redheads among the Westerling family. Her mother's line was dark and exotic looking, while her father bore the golden hair that was common among the Westerlands and even more so among the bannermen of the Lannisters. Everyone knew he had laid siege to the Crag. It wasn't hard to guess what happened between them.

"I sleep where I am able. I have learned now what a luxury a bed truly is. I don't think I could ever look at food or silk sheets the same again." She mused softly. It was only when he spoke that her head shot up, pain registering across her features. "I left before you could broach the question. You had to keep your word, Robb."

[kingofbadlifechoices]

His head starts to hurt a little as he tries to think of different solutions. What would Ned do? What would be honorable? What would his men say? What should he do with his own feelings? How to remain distant as your sons grow up before your eyes?

"To be fair...my words do not mean much when they will find out I have fathered bastards..." Robb's voice sounds soft and more as if he is talking to himself than actually responding to her words. Slowly he tries to shift while holding one of the children, the frown on his face deeper than it has ever been.

"May I ask you what the true reason is why you have come to me?" The words come out of his mouth in a heavy way and the boy in him tells him he sounds like an old man. Maybe he wants to hear that she has been seeking for love, the way he silently aches for it.

[widow_of_the_crag]

"Your men forgave your father." She offered, hoping to somehow soothe his fears and uncertainty. Whatever others might think of her, it wasn't uncommon for men to father bastards, even Northmen. Eddard Stark had a child by an unknown woman as well, yet he was still regarded as a pillar of honor and integrity. Whatever else, there was a chance that Robb would lose none of their respect or loyalty. He kept his word, even after taking another woman to bed.

She hesitated, afraid to meet his eyes. She knew what he was seeking, what he wanted her to say. The days had been long and cold, hardening her from anything other than survival and the strength needed to find her way to Robb's camp. She hadn't thought about what was buried within her heart or what motivations might be hidden behind her instincts. "Robb, I-"

She loved him and he had to know that. It might have been easier to say before, but now? So much time had passed and so much suffering had been endured. It felt as if she were unraveling, vulnerable and weak. She wasn't the sort of woman a king should love, broken and defeated. "I had nowhere else to go." It wasn't what he wanted to hear. Hesitantly, she tried to give him what he was looking for. "I knew I could trust you and I wanted to see you, as I thought you might want to see me?"